My Journey: Reimagining Life with Vestibular Migraine (Part 2)
You can read Part 1 of my journey with vestibular migraine here.
After I found a medication to reduce my daily level of dizziness, my husband and I made the decision to try for children. I felt that I was well enough to care for them even if I couldn’t return to work as an attorney. I met with a maternal fetal medicine specialist and determined that I could stay on the high dose of my medication during pregnancy, which was the most important factor in this decision. I was grateful that my chronic illness did not rob me of getting to have children, even if it took so many other things. I had my first son in March 2017, almost seven weeks before my due date, and my second son in June 2019. I hoped that having children might change my condition for the better in some way, but after my second baby I realized that I was still in the same place I’d been three years earlier. I felt just the same.
Since I was no longer pregnant or breastfeeding, I started to trial additional medications to improve my condition. I got a very lucky break when the pandemic started in March 2020. Because of the changes in telemedicine requirements, I was able to begin seeing one of the top specialists in vestibular migraine in the nation. We have been trialing new medications, and he has also diagnosed me with a secondary disorder, persistent postural-perceptual dizziness. In partnership with my local primary care doctor, we continue to search for ways to further improve my condition.
After my second son was born, I started to focus on finding contentment with my illness. I wanted to be satisfied and happy with where I was and what I had, even though I was sick. But my therapist encouraged me to think about my circumstances in a different way. There are still lots of therapies to try, and new medications are being approved for migraine treatment. As the months dragged on during the pandemic, I really struggled being at home constantly with a toddler and a preschooler with special needs who was only able to go to his preschool special education program two days per week. My volunteer work has taught me so much and has helped my mental health a great deal over the years, but I started to feel that it was time for something more. However, I still experienced dizziness every day, so going back to work as an attorney just wasn’t an option.
In the fall of 2020, I finished the program to earn my nonprofit management certificate when classes became virtual. And at the beginning of 2021, I decided that it was time to take the skills I’d gained through volunteer work and training and start a business to help small, all-volunteer nonprofits. I plan to work part-time and limit the number of clients I have so that I can space out my work and manage the potential for increased dizziness. I plan to outsource certain tasks to an assistant or other freelancers/consultants. There will be some experimenting with screen-reading software and other tools that help me with the time I need to spend behind a computer.
I’ve chosen to focus on reimagining my life with chronic illness for now. I’m reimagining what it looks like to return to work, raise my kids, and deal with my ever-present symptoms.
